(door opens) Is it running? I don't know. Okay. Hi, again. Um, okay, where do I start? I'm really insecure doing this. Sitting in front of a camera talking, talking like I'm talking to a wall but I have a good reason so maybe I just start I'm Colata I'm 28 years old I married I'm in a relationship for a decade. I forgot a three-year-old son. So yeah, I became a mom when I was 25. And the reason why I'm sitting here is basically that, I need to put my thoughts somewhere else in my mind. It's too much, it's too heavy, and I can't deal with it. And it, you know, it takes so much of my time every single day that I simply need to do something with it. It's not enough to write it down. It's not enough to talk to someone else. It's fucking overwhelming all the time. I really want it to be a mom. I think just because I believe that it would give my life a meaning. I always questioned my life, my well you, why I'm here, why it's even worth living. Well, I really think that's why I want to be a mom. And now that I'm a mom for three years and there are parts I love about it. I'm straining every single day. And the meaning I was looking for was it's not what it what I thought I would feel like. So maybe you can relate. I think I'm much more than a mom, but I don't know what. You know, it's not that I'm not talented. It's not that I'm not educated. It's not that I don't have a million options what I could do, how I could earn money, how I could do something, you know, know what people do for a living. But fucking hell nothing fits. It's like I'm not made for anything out there. Wherever I go, whatever I do, the conclusion is I don't fit. It's been like that in school. Like I've been one of the best and almost everything. And still there are so many times I was close to break up to just go do something else. I think it's not helpful to question every single step in your life. It just keeps you from progressing. It also keeps you from progressing. It also keeps you from believing in yourself. And now I have to stop because I need to get dressed, to get outside, get my shit together. And this is very rough. I'm sorry. I don't even remember what my point was. I don't even remember what it was I wanted to say fucking hell. So yeah, have a nice day.